








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 962 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 761 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5708 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8666 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5842 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6304 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,496,336 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoruichi | 53% | 91 |
| #2 | Vladimir | 46% | 102 |
| #3 | dmanatee | 46% | 46 |
| #4 | ChillinJay | 45% | 62 |
| #5 | cheese | 45% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dmanatee | 46% | 46 |
| #4 | ChillinJay | 45% | 62 |
| #5 | cheese | 45% | 82 |
| #6 | rdm-hitman4167 | 45% | 160 |
| #7 | Meow Bitch | 45% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meow Bitch | 30 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Vladimir | 28 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Yoruichi | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | rdm-hitman4167 | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | dmanatee | 5 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoruichi | 314 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | rdm-hitman4167 | 281 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Meow Bitch | 142 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Vladimir | 66 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | cheese | 62 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoruichi | +3.90 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | dmanatee | +1.70 | 66 | 49 |
| #3 | Meow Bitch | +1.33 | 55 | 49 |
| #4 | rdm-hitman4167 | +0.47 | 41 | 65 |
| #5 | Soggy Cheerios | -0.20 | 32 | 60 |





