








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 438 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




251 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 55,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19927 | 36% |
| Smokes | 15955 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 13586 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6233 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,486,938 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 592 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | s1xyouss | 47% | 89 |
| #7 | Kazed | 46% | 114 |
| #8 | #TixeN. | 46% | 143 |
| #9 | Cazanova | 41% | 222 |
| #10 | am0un | 40% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | am0un | 30 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Cazanova | 25 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | blAnk | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | MR R0B0T - | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Kazed | 8 | 0.0037 |





