








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1022 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2820 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2414 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1204 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1968 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $796,766 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haimereJ | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | fartbong | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | vaLk | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | kayla | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | melok | 59% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adderallz | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | mini uzai | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Madik | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | uzai | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | wauly | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mini uzai | 643 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | melok | 279 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Madik | 276 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | uzai | 172 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Adderallz | 129 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wauly | +2.32 | 74 | 46 |
| #2 | y e r f ♿ | +2.07 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | uzai | +1.54 | 88 | 52 |
| #4 | fartbong | +1.01 | 69 | 62 |
| #5 | haimereJ | +0.62 | 73 | 77 |





