








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1876 | 36% |
| Smokes | 757 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 942 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1618 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,274 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eastw1nd | 50% | 105 |
| #2 | Novice Scooter | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | Horrorshow Flux | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | gwooky | 45% | 40 |
| #5 | Samuel | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Samuel | 45% | 29 |
| #6 | Red7 | 45% | 190 |
| #7 | PunishR #zoomclassaimtrainer | 44% | 25 |
| #8 | GOKU | 38% | 29 |
| #9 | Hazmat Suit | 37% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red7 | 27 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | eastw1nd | 14 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | GOKU | 9 | 0.0158 |
| #4 | Hazmat Suit | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Horrorshow Flux | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red7 | 536 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | eastw1nd | 266 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Horrorshow Flux | 186 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | PunishR #zoomclassaimtrainer | 118 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | gwooky | 117 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samuel | +5.82 | 91 | 57 |
| #2 | Novice Scooter | +4.94 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | PunishR #zoomclassaimtrainer | +3.48 | 76 | 57 |
| #4 | gwooky | +2.61 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | Red7 | +2.44 | 75 | 59 |





