








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6340 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5789 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6284 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5278 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,129,998 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valerys | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Cuca Beludo | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | SHOCKWAVE | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | -99999999999999999999999 | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | NakKioKING'z | 39% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cuca Beludo | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | SHOCKWAVE | 48% | 29 |
| #4 | -99999999999999999999999 | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | NakKioKING'z | 39% | 67 |
| #6 | boltg | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NakKioKING'z | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | -99999999999999999999999 | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Cuca Beludo | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | boltg | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuca Beludo | 228 | 0.36 | 5 min |
| #2 | NakKioKING'z | 134 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Valerys | 78 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | SHOCKWAVE | 75 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | -99999999999999999999999 | 68 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -99999999999999999999999 | +2.00 | 60 | 51 |
| #2 | Valerys | +1.66 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | SHOCKWAVE | +1.60 | 65 | 71 |
| #4 | NakKioKING'z | +0.90 | 80 | 65 |
| #5 | hertzz; | +0.53 | 67 | 79 |





