








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4686 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3403 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2908 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1640 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $837,867 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dreamer | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Fs3N | visioN | 48% | 190 |
| #6 | Cii1 | 47% | 98 |
| #7 | Keη× | 46% | 89 |
| #8 | how can I sleep | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fs3N | visioN | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Cii1 | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | how can I sleep | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | you better run | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Keη× | 2 | 0.0011 |





