








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 911 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1176 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1267 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1019 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,730 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jaanoou | 44% | 84 |
| #4 | Feuer2812 | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | TH3_H0PPL3R | 44% | 151 |
| #6 | Pumpte Lumpe | 43% | 116 |
| #7 | The Malginator | 43% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pumpte Lumpe | 204 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | The Malginator | 196 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | TH3_H0PPL3R | 153 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jaanoou | 143 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | ^4Exel | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feuer2812 | +1.41 | 67 | 44 |
| #2 | TH3_H0PPL3R | +1.31 | 66 | 55 |
| #3 | Jaanoou | +0.96 | 47 | 47 |
| #4 | ^4Exel | +0.50 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | The Malginator | -0.78 | 24 | 55 |





