








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,877 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1631 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1312 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1098 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,878 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piddy Da GOAT! | 17 | 0.0224 |
| #2 | Sassy | 9 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | SamosA | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Pete Ophelia | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Kerrarik | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamosA | 169 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sassy | 145 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kerrarik | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pete Ophelia | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Piddy Da GOAT! | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |





