








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 132 | 7% |
| Smokes | 505 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 406 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 772 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,508 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chinomun | 52% | 58 |
| #2 | bungus | 52% | 215 |
| #3 | Lum ラム | 49% | 223 |
| #4 | thegiantoctop | 48% | 168 |
| #5 | habibi | 47% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lum ラム | 49% | 223 |
| #4 | thegiantoctop | 48% | 168 |
| #5 | habibi | 47% | 264 |
| #6 | DruidVHS | 33% | 15 |
| #7 | Householdkeys | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | habibi | 21 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | bungus | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Lum ラム | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | thegiantoctop | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | DruidVHS | 3 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bungus | 814 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | habibi | 503 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Lum ラム | 293 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | thegiantoctop | 212 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | chinomun | 149 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bungus | +3.10 | 59 | 71 |
| #2 | Lum ラム | +0.86 | 51 | 53 |
| #3 | habibi | +0.42 | 37 | 61 |
| #4 | thegiantoctop | +0.25 | 48 | 52 |
| #5 | DruidVHS | +0.15 | 57 | 58 |





