








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 294 | 14% |
| Smokes | 522 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 600 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 614 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $359,189 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Retard | 43% | 14 |
| #10 | Shrekhands | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | Putte P ™ | 40% | 35 |
| #12 | Mandogel | 29% | 7 |
| #13 | TeazR | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mandogel | 2 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | agosh | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haneenee | 62 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | TeazR | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | agosh | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Shrekhands | 43 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Retard | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SweCop ♕ | +8.65 | 64 | 68 |
| #2 | Retard | +4.55 | 87 | 60 |
| #3 | Shrekhands | +2.37 | 86 | 66 |
| #4 | agosh | +1.38 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | haneenee | +1.24 | 75 | 64 |





