








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3789 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3159 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1294 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2254 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $724,966 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 626 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chompy | 58% | 73 |
| #2 | Shrekiro: Onions Die Twice | 47% | 116 |
| #3 | UnknownOCE | 46% | 136 |
| #4 | cjhunt2001 | 34% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chompy | 58% | 73 |
| #2 | Shrekiro: Onions Die Twice | 47% | 116 |
| #3 | UnknownOCE | 46% | 136 |
| #4 | cjhunt2001 | 34% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnknownOCE | 31 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Shrekiro: Onions Die Twice | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | chompy | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | cjhunt2001 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnknownOCE | 382 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | chompy | 319 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | Shrekiro: Onions Die Twice | 297 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | cjhunt2001 | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnknownOCE | +2.20 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | Milo | +0.76 | 67 | 69 |
| #3 | chompy | +0.30 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | cjhunt2001 | -2.62 | 51 | 51 |
| #5 | Shrekiro: Onions Die Twice | -3.01 | 23 | 59 |





