








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 317 | 19% |
| Smokes | 433 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 505 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 373 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,460 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | paul =DD | 58% | 65 |
| #5 | Deadman | 51% | 59 |
| #6 | tofumeister | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | The Great Pretender | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | HEISENBERG. | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paul =DD | 313 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | zayzii :v | 180 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Deadman | 165 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | HEISENBERG. | 96 | 0.38 | 2 min |
| #5 | tofumeister | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEISENBERG. | +3.35 | 64 | 79 |
| #2 | zayzii :v | +2.98 | 90 | 47 |
| #3 | paul =DD | +1.45 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | DEEE FRÄT | +0.65 | 82 | 37 |
| #5 | tofumeister | -0.03 | 86 | 47 |





