








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1012 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1148 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1297 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1212 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,180 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Heisenburger | 45% | 51 |
| #7 | Zendu | 45% | 114 |
| #8 | AnRandomPro | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | AS Imran. | 41% | 41 |
| #10 | ✪✪✪ | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zendu | 28 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Pejcus | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Heisenburger | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | AS Imran. | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Ania2010_skins.army | 5 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪✪✪ | 198 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Heisenburger | 156 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | AS Imran. | 128 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pejcus | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Zendu | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |





