








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 782 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4446 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2184 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4015 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2409 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,208,175 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 474 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | 59% | 68 |
| #2 | xxerxxes | 51% | 141 |
| #3 | NoHope | 45% | 67 |
| #4 | br1c | 41% | 32 |
| #5 | WorstOne | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | 59% | 68 |
| #2 | xxerxxes | 51% | 141 |
| #3 | NoHope | 45% | 67 |
| #4 | br1c | 41% | 32 |
| #5 | WorstOne | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoHope | 11 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | xxerxxes | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Max | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | WorstOne | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | br1c | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | 176 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | xxerxxes | 121 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | br1c | 95 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | WorstOne | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | NoHope | 73 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoHope | +2.70 | 73 | 51 |
| #2 | Max | +1.61 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | ♤ ViiOleTT | +0.27 | 56 | 59 |
| #4 | WorstOne | -0.07 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | xxerxxes | -0.21 | 64 | 40 |





