








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1923 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1158 | 32% |
| Smokes | 837 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1415 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 265 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,363 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 681 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balenciaga dog | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | eduhsuhn | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balenciaga dog | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | eduhsuhn | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eduhsuhn | 14 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | balenciaga dog | 7 | 0.0224 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eduhsuhn | 164 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | balenciaga dog | 22 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balenciaga dog | +5.33 | 88 | 47 |
| #2 | eduhsuhn | +2.32 | 78 | 49 |
| #3 | Hello? | +0.22 | 53 | 41 |





