








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 640 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1945 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3286 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5053 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5100 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,636,099 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobby | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | V.Fox^ | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Tony Chopper | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ELMOS WORLD | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Hansi | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lou | 433 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Tony Chopper | 342 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | V.Fox^ | 227 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Gormless Noob | 208 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | FluffyChickenCurry | 145 | 0.12 | 4 min |





