








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 254 | 14% |
| Smokes | 441 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 796 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 284 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $403,384 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyxsan prime | 62% | 76 |
| #2 | 花 | 59% | 91 |
| #3 | Phyte | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | VITALITY ERA IS HERE | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | ThyDark | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyxsan prime | 62% | 76 |
| #2 | 花 | 59% | 91 |
| #3 | Phyte | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | VITALITY ERA IS HERE | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | ThyDark | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 花 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Phyte | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyxsan prime | 211 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | 花 | 129 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | VITALITY ERA IS HERE | 46 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Phyte | 23 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | ThyDark | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VITALITY ERA IS HERE | +2.82 | 68 | 72 |
| #2 | Kyxsan prime | +2.81 | 58 | 72 |
| #3 | Phyte | +0.15 | 75 | 39 |
| #4 | 1999 | -0.28 | 39 | 45 |
| #5 | 花 | -1.11 | 61 | 37 |





