








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 163 | 20% |
| Smokes | 150 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 213 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 308 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,427 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osama Bin Joe | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | LesS^ ^.^ | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | 333vighet | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | HowardG | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | SalanToZ | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SalanToZ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | HowardG | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | LesS^ ^.^ | 1 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Osama Bin Joe | 1 | 0.0222 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SalanToZ | 162 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | CHENGDOO l NEVER FORGET DRMAN | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | HowardG | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pelarn i Hallen | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | 333vighet | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HowardG | +2.50 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | SalanToZ | +1.65 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | CHENGDOO l NEVER FORGET DRMAN | +0.75 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | 333vighet | +0.18 | 87 | 36 |
| #5 | LesS^ ^.^ | -0.41 | 44 | 59 |





