








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 315 | 36% |
| Smokes | 198 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 123 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 232 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $46,421 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bigos | 100% | 3 |
| #5 | žumpojeb | 100% | 7 |
| #6 | Devl1CZ | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | Prokrastination King | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | Komisař T-Rex | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prokrastination King | 1 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Komisař T-Rex | 1 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | tzej- | 1 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | Hi, I'm Troy McClure. | 1 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | žumpojeb | 36 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | Prokrastination King | 29 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | Hi, I'm Troy McClure. | 17 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #4 | Devl1CZ | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | bigos | 10 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tzej- | +4.55 | 50 | 34 |
| #2 | Hi, I'm Troy McClure. | +3.66 | 65 | 45 |
| #3 | žumpojeb | +3.25 | 63 | 60 |
| #4 | Komisař T-Rex | +1.90 | 84 | 63 |
| #5 | Devl1CZ | +1.33 | 71 | 44 |





