








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 23 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 228 | 23% |
| Smokes | 267 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 228 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 265 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,611 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BluePho3nix | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ams | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Nertz | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | xertioN;d; | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | Jimpphat | 80% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torzsi | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Jimpphat | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | xertioN;d; | 19 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | Númenor | 19 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | davie | 16 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimpphat | +4.90 | 93 | 55 |
| #2 | Nertz | +4.72 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | Númenor | +4.71 | 85 | 72 |
| #4 | Spinx | +3.28 | 94 | 65 |
| #5 | torzsi | +2.16 | 95 | 66 |





