








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 525 matches | ||
| Faceit | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7571 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7850 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6720 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8524 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,281,626 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | zzzzzzzz | 51% | 69 |
| #4 | .#EarL ツ | 50% | 292 |
| #5 | Niko I by goleague.eu | 49% | 182 |
| #6 | Hä?ÖLF! | 49% | 204 |
| #7 | ACX420 | 45% | 77 |





