








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1737 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1798 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1700 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1600 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,831 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JUKKAMETSäKUKKA | 54% | 93 |
| #4 | MooSeS | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | nicsuuu1 | 48% | 126 |
| #6 | rENA_^ | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | ??? | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monjin | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | JUKKAMETSäKUKKA | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | nicsuuu1 | 5 | 0.0020 |





