








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Wingman | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6711 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6225 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5625 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3348 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,601,424 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 600 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~ Lysia ♡ ~ | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | L2eFl3x | 54% | 131 |
| #3 | ♠Spades♠ | 52% | 367 |
| #4 | baumstudent ツ | 51% | 187 |
| #5 | theBLUETO | 49% | 365 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♠Spades♠ | 22 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | baumstudent ツ | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | theBLUETO | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | kibaa :3 | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Trommel Peter | 8 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♠Spades♠ | 809 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #2 | Trommel Peter | 427 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | theBLUETO | 383 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | kibaa :3 | 298 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | baumstudent ツ | 209 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoneZ | +2.13 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | ~ Lysia ♡ ~ | +1.66 | 66 | 73 |
| #3 | baumstudent ツ | +1.42 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | Trommel Peter | +1.02 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | ♠Spades♠ | +0.18 | 54 | 69 |





