








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1563 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2015 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1697 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 717 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,749 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bless you | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Ferb | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | The_Governar | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Professional Breadstick | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | BadRobot | 50% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrBronerd | 10 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | BadRobot | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Bless you | 6 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | The_Governar | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Ferb | 3 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bless you | 73 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | The_Governar | 60 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | BadRobot | 56 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | MrBronerd | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | BootyClappin99 | 30 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deadman | +5.56 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | BootyClappin99 | -0.31 | 51 | 42 |
| #3 | The_Governar | -0.57 | 46 | 52 |
| #4 | Bless you | -0.83 | 42 | 44 |
| #5 | BadRobot | -1.11 | 56 | 36 |





