








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3458 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2343 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2114 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 743 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,065,008 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killjoy | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | pamo | 56% | 75 |
| #3 | thes | 55% | 149 |
| #4 | wizzy | 51% | 203 |
| #5 | headass | 51% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killjoy | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | pamo | 56% | 75 |
| #3 | thes | 55% | 149 |
| #4 | wizzy | 51% | 203 |
| #5 | headass | 51% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wizzy | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | thes | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | headass | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | pamo | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Killjoy | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wizzy | 907 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | thes | 607 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #3 | headass | 282 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | pamo | 137 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Killjoy | 106 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killjoy | +2.85 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | pamo | +2.74 | 79 | 45 |
| #3 | thes | +1.40 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | wizzy | +1.23 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | argent | -0.40 | 71 | 56 |





