








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 796 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1342 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1666 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1993 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,870 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ビッグ}.\|/.{ボス | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Azzlack Denus♞ | 49% | 80 |
| #3 | }\|/{anλaC | 47% | 77 |
| #4 | }\|/{atthew Von Bonzreich | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ビッグ}.\|/.{ボス | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Azzlack Denus♞ | 49% | 80 |
| #3 | }\|/{anλaC | 47% | 77 |
| #4 | }\|/{atthew Von Bonzreich | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | }\|/{anλaC | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Azzlack Denus♞ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | ビッグ}.\|/.{ボス | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | }\|/{anλaC | 188 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | ビッグ}.\|/.{ボス | 42 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | }\|/{atthew Von Bonzreich | 38 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Azzlack Denus♞ | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nikipedia | +2.01 | 54 | 56 |
| #2 | ビッグ}.\|/.{ボス | +1.48 | 49 | 68 |
| #3 | }\|/{atthew Von Bonzreich | +0.86 | 49 | 52 |
| #4 | }\|/{anλaC | -1.41 | 37 | 62 |
| #5 | Azzlack Denus♞ | -2.54 | 39 | 21 |





