








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 503 | 17% |
| Smokes | 935 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 673 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 790 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $323,059 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OnyXxX | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | SunShine | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | PokerAsh | 47% | 43 |
| #4 | qwe3zxypld14 | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | BOT Tauasar | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PokerAsh | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | mvP23ilka | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | SunShine | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Koross | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | knifeBot | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SunShine | 147 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | knifeBot | 143 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | Koross | 132 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | PokerAsh | 95 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | ΞѦΞlΞtΞrΞoΞcΞkΞeΞrΞ | 68 | 0.25 | 2 min |





