








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1243 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1612 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1930 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1875 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,541 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Bot | 50% | 42 |
| #2 | 『 ツ 』 | 49% | 77 |
| #3 | Mysteriere | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Purple Pentapus ❤ | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Big Whiff- | 49% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Senny | 42% | 12 |
| #11 | wsefy | 42% | 65 |
| #12 | daggle | 38% | 13 |
| #13 | Ravvers | 29% | 17 |
| #14 | Quack ❀ | 20% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quack ❀ | 8 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Big Whiff- | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Ruizzrr | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Senny | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | 『 ツ 』 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Whiff- | 365 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Hobzzr | 323 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | wsefy | 198 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | niyhm fan #1 | 144 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Purple Pentapus ❤ | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Whiff- | +3.08 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | Purple Pentapus ❤ | +1.61 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | wsefy | +1.53 | 85 | 74 |
| #4 | niyhm fan #1 | +1.42 | 86 | 76 |
| #5 | Ravvers | +1.34 | 84 | 28 |





