








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 675 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4415 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4703 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2236 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3289 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,487,188 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 942 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woopipe | 55% | 78 |
| #2 | torta hunter | 52% | 88 |
| #3 | Fart Slave | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | Whitto | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | Prime Possum | 50% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fart Slave | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | Whitto | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | Prime Possum | 50% | 244 |
| #6 | SubZie! | 50% | 28 |
| #7 | pink | 46% | 311 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pink | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Prime Possum | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Woopipe | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | torta hunter | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Whitto | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pink | 1497 | 0.22 | 32 min |
| #2 | Prime Possum | 858 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | torta hunter | 549 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #4 | Whitto | 276 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Woopipe | 112 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woopipe | +2.56 | 73 | 51 |
| #2 | Whitto | +1.64 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | Prime Possum | +0.90 | 62 | 58 |
| #4 | SubZie! | +0.60 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | St0ked | +0.42 | 61 | 68 |





