








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1270 | 33% |
| Smokes | 761 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1191 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $95,250 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Small willy Low skilly | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | ✪ Eddie | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | WhiZzYO | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | λbstrakT | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Tonyw | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Small willy Low skilly | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | ✪ Eddie | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | WhiZzYO | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | λbstrakT | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Tonyw | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhiZzYO | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ✪ Eddie | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhiZzYO | 72 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tonyw | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪ Eddie | 24 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | λbstrakT | 17 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | Small willy Low skilly | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | λbstrakT | +1.33 | 51 | 76 |
| #2 | ✪ Eddie | +1.10 | 66 | 70 |
| #3 | Small willy Low skilly | +0.48 | 62 | 45 |
| #4 | WhiZzYO | +0.28 | 84 | 64 |
| #5 | Tonyw | +0.25 | 69 | 62 |





