








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 304 | 37% |
| Smokes | 192 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 110 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 224 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $46,754 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | God Emperor Charles the third | 63% | 16 |
| #8 | Crutex | 57% | 14 |
| #9 | prediction? 13-3 | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | ob | 38% | 13 |
| #11 | zozozofun | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prediction? 13-3 | 2 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Crutex | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | God Emperor Charles the third | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crutex | 60 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | SirMasonDk | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | prediction? 13-3 | 22 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | God Emperor Charles the third | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | dragonPussykilleR💯♿ | 12 | 0.16 | 0 min |





