








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1054 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 802 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9509 | 24% |
| Smokes | 11060 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 10478 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 8665 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,010,191 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 603 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | GucciHawkTUAH | 50% | 235 |
| #11 | inZ | 49% | 51 |
| #12 | pixquill. ピクスキル | 49% | 231 |
| #13 | Shad0w | 46% | 160 |
| #14 | Zombiemandarine | 44% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GucciHawkTUAH | +2.20 | 78 | 55 |
| #2 | inZ | +1.92 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | FaZe NaCl | +1.27 | 58 | 76 |
| #4 | KOOPSTA KNICCA | +1.10 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | chris:^ | +1.04 | 78 | 51 |





