








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1999 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2176 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 756 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1023 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,128,383 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞Archxn✟ | 166 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sackboy | 161 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | pawki | 118 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♥Archon♥ | 111 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #5 | skibiditoiletmeister | 74 | 0.11 | 3 min |





