








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3695 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5707 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4847 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4708 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,970,717 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iAMTSUJ1 | 65% | 82 |
| #2 | H1r0Pi | 63% | 84 |
| #3 | Aries | 63% | 84 |
| #4 | tehuo | 62% | 79 |
| #5 | yuutonn | 56% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iAMTSUJ1 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | HalfHead. | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | geruto. | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Aries | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | GGsakl | 4 | 0.0039 |





