








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1544 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1707 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 913 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1140 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,237 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | so many peepo | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | gt^ | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | best girl | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | 老咕咕 | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | 321 | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | best girl | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | 老咕咕 | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | gt^ | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gt^ | +2.12 | 66 | 59 |
| #2 | best girl | +1.76 | 72 | 43 |
| #3 | NaughtyElephant | +0.84 | 64 | 54 |
| #4 | so many peepo | +0.41 | 46 | 41 |
| #5 | 321 | +0.07 | 48 | 58 |





