








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
90 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20 | 14% |
| Smokes | 24 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 13 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 87 | 60% |
Our logs show you have wasted $24,609 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Pollo | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Why is the Enemy Team so Bad? | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | eXILED™ | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Mad Scientist™ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Pollo | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Why is the Enemy Team so Bad? | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | eXILED™ | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Mad Scientist™ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Why is the Enemy Team so Bad? | 7 | 0.0241 |
| #2 | El Pollo | 6 | 0.0248 |
| #3 | Mad Scientist™ | 4 | 0.0541 |
| #4 | eXILED™ | 3 | 0.0146 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eXILED™ | 49 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | Why is the Enemy Team so Bad? | 46 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | El Pollo | 26 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mad Scientist™ | 21 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Pollo | +4.22 | 93 | 57 |
| #2 | Why is the Enemy Team so Bad? | +1.24 | 80 | 45 |
| #3 | eXILED™ | +0.15 | 45 | 57 |
| #4 | AntEyeVirus | -4.69 | 25 | 25 |
| #5 | Mad Scientist™ | -4.74 | 29 | 58 |





