








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1487 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1898 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1956 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1615 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,415 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mysema | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | Goatchilla | 60% | 131 |
| #3 | BirDie | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Hexsa | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | siLtzi | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BirDie | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Hexsa | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | siLtzi | 43% | 60 |
| #6 | Kirikoutsi | 37% | 35 |
| #7 | sukari | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siLtzi | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Goatchilla | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | sukari | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goatchilla | 550 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | siLtzi | 193 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kirikoutsi | 98 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hexsa | 55 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | BirDie | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BirDie | +2.85 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | Deksu | +1.05 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | Goatchilla | +0.81 | 56 | 78 |
| #4 | Kirikoutsi | -0.13 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | siLtzi | -0.28 | 68 | 67 |





