








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 691 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2587 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1634 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1733 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1510 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,639 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 700 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uni Cornelius [Trans Rights] | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | fradda | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | Megumignon β₯ | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Suspicious Mine | 43% | 173 |
| #5 | liv | 37% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suspicious Mine | 46 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | liv | 23 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | fradda | 16 | 0.0269 |
| #4 | Uni Cornelius [Trans Rights] | 8 | 0.0194 |
| #5 | γMemuγ | 3 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suspicious Mine | 351 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | liv | 124 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Megumignon β₯ | 94 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | γMemuγ | 73 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Uni Cornelius [Trans Rights] | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Megumignon β₯ | +3.89 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | fradda | +2.86 | 82 | 41 |
| #3 | Uni Cornelius [Trans Rights] | +2.34 | 85 | 30 |
| #4 | Suspicious Mine | +1.20 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | ^ ^1π JMit | +0.63 | 73 | 64 |





