










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2229 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1326 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1789 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 861 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,995 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuichiro | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | nakkileipa123 | 46% | 67 |
| #3 | Doggoβ’ | 43% | 35 |
| #4 | Fiflan3K | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | Suontis | 38% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nakkileipa123 | 12 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Suontis | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | yuichiro | 6 | 0.0199 |
| #4 | Doggoβ’ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Fiflan3K | 1 | 0.0016 |





