








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2943 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3807 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5002 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3783 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,261,095 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 923 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nibberich | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | derhennessy | 59% | 54 |
| #3 | Alexander Marcus | 51% | 213 |
| #4 | Rectal Connoisseur | 47% | 243 |
| #5 | Stefan Sparsam | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alexander Marcus | 427 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | derhennessy | 136 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Nibberich | 127 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rectal Connoisseur | 109 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stefan Sparsam | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vPaat 🚀 | +6.16 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | Nibberich | +2.50 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | Stefan Sparsam | -0.16 | 54 | 56 |
| #4 | Alexander Marcus | -0.26 | 52 | 54 |
| #5 | derhennessy | -0.54 | 54 | 55 |





