










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 137 | 5% |
| Smokes | 953 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 853 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 652 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $876,374 of utility $281 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Namir | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | шлюха с софтом! | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | 3HP Cat | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Ninth | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | h0uz3 | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jack Crawford | 57 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Namir | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Wood Destroyer | 43 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Will [Kilo] Graham | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ninth | 37 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wood Destroyer | +2.72 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | Lasse Eindryngen | +2.36 | 64 | 37 |
| #3 | Ninth | +2.09 | 60 | 64 |
| #4 | 3HP Cat | +1.08 | 78 | 42 |
| #5 | шлюха с софтом! | +1.07 | 84 | 29 |





