








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 862 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1517 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1761 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1097 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $409,085 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sab | 45% | 22 |
| #2 | Italiano | 41% | 51 |
| #3 | lovesick | 41% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sab | 45% | 22 |
| #2 | Italiano | 41% | 51 |
| #3 | lovesick | 41% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lovesick | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Italiano | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | sab | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sab | 128 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #2 | lovesick | 79 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Italiano | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sab | +5.21 | 91 | 71 |
| #2 | Italiano | +3.38 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | lovesick | -1.65 | 55 | 34 |
| #4 | Clubs | -1.75 | 41 | 50 |





