








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1337 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1126 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1836 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1556 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,340 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shampoonyk =) | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | BeRRyTriceps | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Cuelix | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Xay- | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | JAYS | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Xay- | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | JAYS | 59% | 29 |
| #6 | spt | 53% | 38 |
| #7 | reyyyA | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | DoZad Gaming | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spt | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | BeRRyTriceps | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | DoZad Gaming | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Xay- | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | shampoonyk =) | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spt | 143 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | BeRRyTriceps | 109 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | JAYS | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | DoZad Gaming | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | shampoonyk =) | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reyyyA | +4.16 | 79 | 44 |
| #2 | shampoonyk =) | +4.00 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | BeRRyTriceps | +3.36 | 84 | 75 |
| #4 | Cuelix | +1.21 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | spt | +0.59 | 79 | 61 |





