








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 140 matches | ||
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




252 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1395 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1501 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 212 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 634 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,058 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 868 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxx | 46% | 300 |
| #2 | Upside Down Corgi | 43% | 99 |
| #3 | lilsagna | 43% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxx | 46% | 300 |
| #2 | Upside Down Corgi | 43% | 99 |
| #3 | lilsagna | 43% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxx | 141 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | Upside Down Corgi | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | lilsagna | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxx | 364 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | lilsagna | 61 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Upside Down Corgi | 56 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxx | +2.38 | 77 | 36 |
| #2 | lilsagna | +0.92 | 76 | 31 |
| #3 | Robz | +0.87 | 61 | 22 |
| #4 | Upside Down Corgi | -1.42 | 58 | 29 |





