








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Basalt | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 148 | 5% |
| Smokes | 836 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1049 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1179 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,261 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Katos | 72% | 32 |
| #2 | MCStahlrohr | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | Dranii | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | ✪TURBO CAT | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | CommandoSoldat | 58% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MCStahlrohr | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | Dranii | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | ✪TURBO CAT | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | CommandoSoldat | 58% | 36 |
| #6 | der_Metzger | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CommandoSoldat | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | MCStahlrohr | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ✪Katos | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Dranii | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Katos | 88 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | CommandoSoldat | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dranii | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | der_Metzger | 29 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #5 | MCStahlrohr | 23 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Katos | +2.71 | 63 | 66 |
| #2 | ✪TURBO CAT | +1.99 | 59 | 71 |
| #3 | Quarkie | +1.87 | 59 | 32 |
| #4 | Dranii | +0.07 | 48 | 60 |
| #5 | CommandoSoldat | -0.17 | 50 | 48 |





