








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1690 | 34% |
| Smokes | 788 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1658 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 872 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,234 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cool Uncle Chuck | 43% | 134 |
| #2 | rock n roll mcdonalds | 40% | 126 |
| #3 | Kodabud | 29% | 63 |
| #4 | LandWhale | 28% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cool Uncle Chuck | 43% | 134 |
| #2 | rock n roll mcdonalds | 40% | 126 |
| #3 | Kodabud | 29% | 63 |
| #4 | LandWhale | 28% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cool Uncle Chuck | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | LandWhale | 12 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Kodabud | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | rock n roll mcdonalds | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rock n roll mcdonalds | 175 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Cool Uncle Chuck | 62 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #3 | LandWhale | 19 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | Kodabud | 10 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cool Uncle Chuck | +5.38 | 67 | 34 |
| #2 | rock n roll mcdonalds | +1.99 | 39 | 48 |
| #3 | Kodabud | -2.35 | 20 | 10 |
| #4 | LandWhale | -2.54 | 37 | 15 |
| #5 | DillonWP | -3.95 | 32 | 53 |





