








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 819 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 637 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3695 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6999 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4815 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5460 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,888,287 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twinsdad_DK | 51% | 80 |
| #2 | Madsenfromdk | 47% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twinsdad_DK | 51% | 80 |
| #2 | Madsenfromdk | 47% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Madsenfromdk | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | twinsdad_DK | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Madsenfromdk | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | twinsdad_DK | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twinsdad_DK | -0.03 | 48 | 44 |
| #2 | OldDirtyWiener | -0.85 | 21 | 52 |
| #3 | Madsenfromdk | -2.27 | 25 | 49 |





