








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1076 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 54,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13186 | 24% |
| Smokes | 12866 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 15214 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 12943 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,503,186 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 639 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acuriz | 54% | 131 |
| #2 | MaRM0R | 53% | 129 |
| #3 | Frohes schaffen ne | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | beh sserwerden | 51% | 146 |
| #5 | Eddie Miami | 44% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acuriz | 54% | 131 |
| #2 | MaRM0R | 53% | 129 |
| #3 | Frohes schaffen ne | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | beh sserwerden | 51% | 146 |
| #5 | Eddie Miami | 44% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beh sserwerden | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Acuriz | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Eddie Miami | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Frohes schaffen ne | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | MaRM0R | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beh sserwerden | 343 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Eddie Miami | 277 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | MaRM0R | 275 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Acuriz | 115 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Frohes schaffen ne | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eddie Miami | +0.90 | 64 | 69 |
| #2 | MaRM0R | +0.22 | 62 | 68 |
| #3 | BuRRoLoCo | +0.07 | 42 | 76 |
| #4 | Acuriz | -0.02 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | beh sserwerden | -0.62 | 41 | 69 |





