








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3435 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2076 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2522 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2079 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1925 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,984 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZEPTIMER | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | St1vold | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Hoff | 59% | 87 |
| #4 | gaveeeyy | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | Zuupix | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gaveeeyy | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | Zuupix | 49% | 49 |
| #6 | MSTNG | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | b3n5 | 47% | 55 |
| #8 | NZyyy* ♥M | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b3n5 | 13 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | NZyyy* ♥M | 7 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Hoff | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Zuupix | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | St1vold | 3 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoff | 333 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | b3n5 | 158 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | MSTNG | 89 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | ZEPTIMER | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | NZyyy* ♥M | 61 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NZyyy* ♥M | +6.11 | 95 | 65 |
| #2 | Hoff | +1.05 | 84 | 72 |
| #3 | ZEPTIMER | +0.65 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | ඞ LiamF | +0.59 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | b3n5 | +0.28 | 57 | 49 |





