








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2104 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2301 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1672 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2162 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2026 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $384,863 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PommesPanzer | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | Adlermulm | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | 𝓢𝓮𝓫𝓲𝓩 #2511 | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | runTMB | 44% | 88 |
| #5 | Kreis | 38% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PommesPanzer | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | Adlermulm | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | 𝓢𝓮𝓫𝓲𝓩 #2511 | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | runTMB | 44% | 88 |
| #5 | Kreis | 38% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kreis | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | runTMB | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | PommesPanzer | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Adlermulm | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | runTMB | 412 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kreis | 177 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | PommesPanzer | 116 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Adlermulm | 59 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝓢𝓮𝓫𝓲𝓩 #2511 | 24 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Domkra | +0.72 | 47 | 77 |
| #2 | Adlermulm | -0.03 | 45 | 45 |
| #3 | Kreis | -0.21 | 53 | 60 |
| #4 | runTMB | -1.15 | 52 | 67 |
| #5 | 𝓢𝓮𝓫𝓲𝓩 #2511 | -1.58 | 46 | 40 |





